


How does a heart love if no one has noticed its presence?

by fixedstellium



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst and Feels, Asmo is going through sumn, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Implied Sexual Content, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:20:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23216893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fixedstellium/pseuds/fixedstellium
Summary: Asmodeus and the MC think about the consequences of their actions.
Relationships: Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Asmodeus/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 126





	How does a heart love if no one has noticed its presence?

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is purely word vomit. It’s intended to not name the other person so I used they/them pronouns. But I thought of the Main Character as the other person.

**T** wo figures lie down on a bed, their bare legs entangled with each other. They share one pillow because the other ones are scattered all over the floor. One was laughing at the other person who was biting their finger. They look at each other, not talking. Asmodeus kisses the finger he bit, before turning attention to the other neglected fingers. His ministrations leave their partner with adoration,their free hand goes to the cheek of the demon.

“Can I ask a question?” Their voice is soft, Asmodeus cannot help but feel his stomach flutter. He can’t help but feel like they are in their little bubble. No other person, demon or even angel can interrupt them.

“Oh?” He tightened his bare leg on the other person’s thigh. “You usually don’t ask anything, we just go straight to fucking.” They merely smiled, the smile Asmodeus liked. Their smile can put the warmth of the sun to shame. Asmodeus wants to tuck this moment inside his heart. He feels greedy and he knows he cannot have anyone, even his brothers see a smile like this. His heart sank a bit, they might take them away from him. Might even tell that they are just bewitched by Asmodeus by an aphrodisiac. 

Their fingers weaved through the demon’s locks, it halts his darkened and dreaded thoughts. “That we do, but we didn’t exactly agree to not ask questions.”

Asmodeus is still drawing shapes on the other person’s bare chest, the littered purpling marks will be visible soon. He looked at the demon pact on top of where their heart is supposed to be. He cannot help but smile. It’s his demon pact. The only place he never puts hickies on. He looks at their eyes, he can feel the penetrative gaze, magnetic, Asmodeus would describe it like that. “But it’s up to you if you want to answer it, I just want to ask.”

Asmodeus nodded, he placed his head on the crook of his partner’s shoulder. Asmodeus was thankful he cannot see their expression when he whispered a breathy ‘okay’.

_“What is it that you truly desire?”_

Seconds turn to minutes, the clock inside the room can be heard. From the very beginning, all he ever wanted was validation. Sure, he gets it off during the times whenever his partner or _partners_ are screaming or moaning his name like songs of praises. The soft whiny sighs coming from him makes him feel electrifyingly good. Asmodeus likes the way he gets wrecked. Prettily, he would say. He likes how a finger or two inserts their way inside his mouth while being thoroughly fucked. He feels like no one can ever get off if it wasn’t him underneath them...or above them.

“Babe, you can really not answer okay?” They reassured Asmodeus, their hand intertwined with Asmodeus while the other stroked his cheeks, his mouth agape. He leaned toward their touch and let out a soft sigh.

Asmodeus was caught off guard, his eyes opened as a shift of weight managed to squeak his person. Hands roamed around his body and he cannot help but feel warmer, the lower part of his body reacted towards the sensual ministrations, “Wanna do another round?” 

“Thought you might never ask!” He wrapped his arm on their neck and kissed their lips, he chased them with kisses, their breathy sighs echoed inside the room.

They kissed him goodnight before they left his room (much to both’s dismay) because of the curfew Lucifer imposed inside the House of Lamentation. As much as they wanted to talk more, both needed a good rest. After everything they did, afterall.

However, one laid on their bed thinking if it was the right call? To ask someone they are in an arrangement with something like that? Was it okay? They pondered. Clearly, after that, something changed in the atmosphere between the two of them. They were crossing the line they didn’t want to cross.

Three months ago, both decided to be friends with benefits. It was distasteful to say “fuck-buddies” because they felt it was rather demeaning. Their conditions went with the usual: no strings attached, this is purely sex. They can date whoever they want to date and that they can call off the arrangement anytime. It was good that even demons know boundaries and when to stop. So it wasn’t hard for them to agree. They never agreed on anything about not talking about anything personal. So why, why did they regret asking it? On the other hand, they felt like they deserved to know. They have always danced around the line of being personal and being purely transactional. Sure Asmodeus invites him on dates whenever he can. And boy, during those three months, they went on dates every week.

It didn’t take too long for them to realize what they were feeling. The dark pit on their stomach weighs so much dread that they cannot stop thinking of the worst case scenarios. One time, when they accompanied Mammon to his photoshoot because Lucifer had them tutor the Avatar of Greed. They overhead people from Majolish gossip about Asmodeus and how he didn’t seem like he was active. Before the demons could look at them, the director of the photoshoot told everyone that the photoshoot is a wrap.

After that, they couldn’t help but make their thoughts go to a certain demon that may or may not have captured their heart.

When they left, Asmodeus sank his body on the fresh silk bed sheets the both of them replaced. Usually, their aftercare consisted of changing the pillow sheets, the bed sheet or cleaning up everything that they tainted. Their absence, he can feel. If only he can have them stay, he mused. Inhaling, he can still smell them, how their entire scent stays inside his room. He won’t probably tell them but he feels so secure whenever they are there. “Asmo, you know I like it when you smile like that.” He raised his eyebrow at the statement, “Like?” He doesn’t know how his mouth curls into a genuine smile so automatically whenever he is talking to them.

Asmodeus never planned to make their arrangement personal. It was good for the both of them for the first three weeks, then things changed when certain events left them to open up a lot. Asmodeus, at first, treated them like a normal human. So flawed, so weak, he seemed like he would enjoy tempting them with desire. He hated and generalized humans. In the end of that chaos, they somehow managed to earn his respect and a pact.

The arrangement was something the both of them did when both saw in each other how they needed the comfort of someone that can wreck them pretty hard. They both knew it was meant to be transactional. Teetering over the line, Asmodeus knew it would surely bear consequences.

So that night, when they left, he was alone in his thoughts. As he put the night cream on his face. He anchored himself by counting how many eyelashes they have. Once he was done, he went to bed and hugged one of his pillows.

Asmodeus woke up feeling like utter shit. He checked his phone and he saw it was way too early for him to be awake. Dreading going back to sleep, he goes to the kitchen.From afar, Asmodeus can smell butter being fried, as well as onions and garlic. Seeing Satan cook their breakfast for the day made him let out a sigh of relief. Good, he won’t be alone in his thoughts.

“Asmo, you look…”  
“Like shit.” He groaned and made his way to get a glass of water.

Satan cleared his throat, “I was gonna say, you look like you need some more rest.” He continued sauteing the onions and garlic and added the lean meat. Asmodeus drank the water and closed his eyes, he didn’t want to talk about the dream he just had. Well, it wasn’t exactly a dream...More like a nightmare. 

And just like that, he remembered the nightmare he had. It was of himself on the bed, eyes blown wide, he is panting. He knows his hair is a mess, the sweat on his body feels sticky. Like it was on autopilot, he laughs and the person above him kisses him until the both of them have their fill. They part, Asmodeus tries not to cry. But the hand wiping the corner of his eyes begs to differ. They kiss the drops away. Asmodeus dares to not say the three words he wants to say.

No one ever takes those words seriously when it comes from him. He feels very afraid. The feeling of vulnerability is the kind of naked he doesn’t like. He hates it. It makes him want to claw the flesh off of his skin, he tastes bile and he wants everything out of his system.

But as decades go by, this same old routine he likes to do, it makes him think and feel _empty_. As the Avatar of Lust, he thinks people see him as a hundred percent horndog. He grimaces at the thought. Even if he is filled with carnal desires, he still thinks consent is the sexiest thing and he can totally get off a week just because of that.

He remembered saying those three words in the dream and the person leaves him, he remembered their face contort in disgust, Asmodeus felt a shiver down his spine when they said, “You don’t even know what love is..”

He blinked his eyes, he controlled his breathing so the imminent tears do not ever dare fall. He repeatedly told himself that it wasn’t real, and what’s real is right now. He really didn’t want to break down in front of Satan. “Asmo,” Satan doesn’t look at him, “there is an event I’ll go to tonight, I usually go on my own but the company hosting is the one that produces the skincare you love.”

Asmodeus needs to get away from his thoughts for a bit so he accepts Satan’s invitation.

After classes, Asmodeus breathed a sigh of relief. All the lessons they did were too much for his pretty brain to handle and he really needed a bit of fresh air. He is on his way home with the human. The atmosphere between the two of them feels tense. Sure, they have exchanged words throughout the day because they were groupmates with Solomon. But alone together, it never felt this suffocating.

He pondered on the question from last night, he knew what the answer was and yet, he was afraid. He knew this, his dream really did him a number. 

Seeing that they were preoccupied in his thoughts, the exchange student walked beside him, and they felt a wall building up between them. The exchange student beside him looked at him, they chewed on their lip before contemplating on what to say.

“Oh, I almost forgot!” They looked at Asmodeus, blinking as he intertwined their hand with each other. He gave their hand a little squeeze, a thumb running on the other’s hand. “Satan invited me to an event today, I can’t go to your room tonight.” He felt disappointed about it but he needed to collect some of his thoughts before anything else. All the human ever wanted today was to talk to them about last night.

Seeing them feel disappointed, Asmodeus lifted their chin up and made them look at him. “I will still talk about it with you. Don’t be disappointed, love.” A burst of color bloomed on the human’s face as well as a smile. No reason to feel like masking anything to them anymore, he decided.

After the rather moving speech of the host, Satan was whisked away by another guest from where they were standing. Satan looked over at him, silently pleading to Asmodeus. The Avatar of Lust feigned ignorance and began to sip his sorry drink. The margarita now tasted diluted. He should have drank it in once go from the start.

Once Satan was away, someone tapped his shoulder. He turned and saw that it was one of the daughters of the owner of the company. They talked to him whilst rubbing on his shoulder. Ah, he reminded himself not to look at her eyes. Her voice is high-pitched, almost shrilly and he directs his attention on the painting at the back of her head. From his peripheral vision, he can see the daughter pout her glossed lips. He really doesn’t want to be rude so he excused himself. As much as he wanted to maintain a conversation, this was clearly an invitation to somewhere that did not involve just a drink. He just has someone in mind to be in bed with.

Oh, what did they ever do to him to make him feel this way. It was evident for him to know the relationship he has with the exchange student isn’t something he would like to call as nothing or just a fling.

As he was politely turning down the demon for a night out, he could hear some of the guests near them talk about him. “Wow, The Avatar of Lust is turning down a succubus?” “Not just any succubus, it’s the daughter of the owner of the company!” “Heard he fucked that one demon, what was their name---”

Asmodeus turned to that demon, he locked his eyes at them and imagined them to be enveloped in eternal hellfire. They became quiet and only the sound of the piano and violin can be heard. He weaved his way to Satan and told him that he really wasn’t in the mood to socialize. Seeing this, Satan politely said their thanks and goodbyes.

Inside the car, Satan looked over Asmodeus. He gripped his hands on the steering wheel, and exhaled, “Hey, are you okay?”

“Douchebags gossiped about me again. I just turned down the daughter of the company because I was not really interested. So yeah, the usual. ” At the nonchalant tone, Satan couldn’t help but grimace. He parked the car on the side to talk to Asmodeus.

“You know I am not good with words, but honestly Asmo, you care about the words people say about you. Just know that you do not have to feel like shit because of what they said. Those that know you,” Satan locked his eyes on his brother, he released the handbrake and hit the pedal, “They have every right to say something because they see you for who you are and not for what others say about you.”

Asmodeus laughed at how Satan’s ears turned red, making Satan sputter a ‘what now?’. “Nice to see you care, dear brother.”

“Oh fuck off!”

It was hours ago when Asmodeus left and they can feel the tiredness envelop their body. They adjusted the blanket after they turned into their side. Mammon would have been here with them if it weren’t for Lucifer. Usually, the both of them would have a movie marathon but the Avatar of Greed was scammed by a couple of witches so he had to talk it out with Lucifer. 

Suddenly, hasty knocks were heard outside their door. They jumped from their bed to open it before Lucifer even came to berate whoever the person was knocking. As they opened the door, arms went to envelop their body.

“Asmo?”   
“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?” They asked, their hands clung on his dress shirt. They released from each other’s hold. Like a pin about to pop a balloon, Asmodeus said in a hushed voice, “Please.”

He let them use him to close the door, one hand of the human locking the door, while the other was firmly planted on the nape of Asmodeus’ neck. Both of them seek each other’s lips, their breaths mingling with each other. Asmodeus felt them smile while kissing and it takes everything in him to bring them on their knees. But for now, they shed their clothing, both are taking their time. This is surely glaringly different from everything they ever did. And Asmodeus wants to cry because this feels something else. A breathy sigh escaped his lips, “ We have a lot of time to catch up, love.” 

As Asmodeus sank on the bed, a hand went to move his hair away from his face. They smiled at him, the pink tint on their cheeks really told Asmodeus that they were spent. Asmodeus does the same, he moved their hair away from their face and he used his thumb to caress their cheekbone, “So,” he began, “I have a secret.” His voice hushed, the room began to feel like they were in their own bubble again.

He no longer cares if he looked ugly. He no longer cares because the one in front of him adores him, they never judged him for who he is. They call them out and talk to them if he does things that make him destructive, not just to others, but to himself too. He has shed so many clothes in his lifetime, but baring his soul and taking off his mask, he never felt so vulnerable.

“I…I get jealous, I can be a little narcissistic. I can also be very petty. I am always boxed into this personality that I am always horny or that I throw my hands at the next beautiful specimen and fuck them into oblivion. But in reality, I am not like that. You saw right through me, you never commented whenever I had bad days. You call me out when I am stepping over the line. You never made me feel like a shitty scumbag. And the next thing I knew, ” He blinked away the tears, “I love you.” He whispered their name like a prayer. His hands find theirs and he kisses them, “I really do. I know our time is limited and this may come as out of character, but please stay with me.”

Asmodeus heard them sniffle, he finally looks at them and he sees them cry. They kissed him, he didn’t mind tasting the salty tears, they didn’t need to say it but he knew they loved him too.

“Can I ask a question?” He wiped their tears, he can’t help but look at their lips, plump from being kissed all night.

They nodded, their leg tightening on the thighs of the demon, “Can we call off this arrangement?”

They laughed, Asmodeus never felt so relieved, “Thought you’d never ask,” they replied. Asmodeus is left running after another breathtaking kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have reached the bottom of this fic, thank you for reading. Kudos are very much appreciated as well as comments.  
> Decorative lines for separation made by yours truly. Please credit me if you will use it.
> 
> talk to me on twt: https://twitter.com/devilgram/


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